All about Me!

Am being extremely decadent, sitting here still in night attire, writing a post and watching tennis - today watching Petkovic a young German girl playing Li, who is from China. Anyone who likes sport, watch out for Petkovic - she is a breath of fresh air and I think a role model in the making for future generations of tennis players. She has a delightful sense of humour as well as playing a mean game of tennis.

After finishing my last post which was more of a weather/sports report, I realised I had forgotten to mention my brushes with the medical fraternity over the past two weeks, hence the title of this post. Those who know me well, know that I am such an infrequent user of all things medical, I have not had a regular GP for nearly 30 yrs. Practising aromatherapy and going through the 70's cycles of yoga, aerobics (at home in front of the telly, lol), and various positive healthy eating binges, such as avoiding preservatives and additives where possible (in between cycles of total indulgence I might add) and a reasonably hearty constitution, not to mention a healthy fear of needles and pain has helped me avoid medical attention. I have from time to time used physiotherapy and the school nurse when back in NZ for the odd injury, but on the whole have been pretty good. Therefore, when I do have medical needs they are usually because of an acute situation. After saying all this, I have been troubled by an unidentified pain that has occurred intermittently over the past few years. I have almost self diagnosed this as possible gall stones due to the fact it always occurs after eating something that is fatty such as pork, or has cream, but there is no definitive thing that sets it off because I can eat both the above with impunity at another time. The other factors combined with the food, are an unusually high level of stress, which may involve working lots of hours, lack of sleep and or general worries. Most times chewing on a gavascon tablet relieves the pain and a good nights sleep puts me back on the right track. I had a couple of attacks at Tardun and that tactic worked - no other option when you are an hour and a half away from medical attention.

However, two weeks ago just as a shift was coming to an end after a couple of particularly trying days, and eating some hideous pastry (yes, I know I should have known better), I started feeling off. It is difficult to explain as it starts like a pressure feeling mid section just under my rib cage and builds to an unbelievable pain like back ache labour - except it is in yr middle (men reading this will have no idea what I am talking about, lol) It is like having an elephant standing on yr mid-section and without relief and in the past, I have toyed with the idea of ripping out my said intestines with my bare hands at the height of the pain - I am sure you are getting the picture. Anyhoo, I grabbed some gavascon but the pain had already gone past that, so as it was close to end of shift I decided to go home rather than moaning and groaning at work until the pain passed. Because when I am not experiencing this pain, it becomes like a dim memory, on the way home, I decided as the local hospital is virtually around the corner from where I live. I thought I may as well go and see if they could check me out, mid attack and maybe I would get some idea of what is going on. (Also the ex workmate and husband have nagged me for ever to do just this).

I was seen right away by a nurse, then directed to a clerk type person to take details. During this time, I am standing there, breathing through the pain like in labour, hands gripping the front of the counter, with the odd moan for good effect. "Yes, thank you for the details, please take a seat" . Good oh. There was only about four other people in the waiting room as it was only 3pm. By now the pain was building to a crescendo. I closed my eyes, slumped in the chair, thinking - go to your happy place, go to your happy place, doind short panting breaths and emitting several moans until finally the gavascon kicked in. All of a sudden I could hear the tv (flood reports), feel the air conditioning and become aware of others around me. I waited about 10 mins, and then looked up to see that average waiting times to be seen was four hours!!!! If my oscar winning performance of someone in pain was not going to work immediately, I was thinking I may as well go home and curl up for a snooze, was just going to leave, when my name was called out. I was seen by a Dr not of Australian extraction for about 5 mins - asked a few questions, heard the words oesophageal reflux, was given two pills and thank you very much, here is a prescription goodbye. OK, then.

Have not had a twinge since, have eaten cream and pork in the meantime but no nasty pie things, am not stressed so all is good again. Have yet to get the prescription filled but will attend to that this week. Almost forgot to mention it the following day, such was the rapidity of feeling back to normal once the pain had passed. Have seen ads on the telly for GORD ( gastro -osophogeal reflux disorder ) so am now self diagnosing maybe that rather than gall stones, watch this space, lol.

My next brush with medical attention could not have been more different. During the course of two twelve hour shifts on the weekend at work, I noticed that my hip and right ankle was aching which is not something I am used to experiencing. Was this the start of old age I wondered, is this what arthritic pain is like, will I be able to tell the change in weather patterns (I think this was exacerbated by my trying to sort out the lad who went for me with the cricket bat of several posts ago) ......... As it happened the pain worsened and spread to my back and by Tuesday I could hardly move. Any time I sat down, I had to lurch myself forwards off the couch/chair, rise at a 90 degree angle, push hands down on thighs and ratchet myself upwards until I could stand like I had a carrot up my *rse (so to speak) and then walk gingerly about.

One of the woman at work had mentioned Bowen therapy and I had thought that as Mum had had great relief on her knee and leg in the past with Bowen therapy I would have a go envisioning some gentle massage to aforementioned areas. Told my friend to ring up and book me an appointment as she wanted to go as well. The appointment was for the Thursday so struggled with little sleep and actually succumbed to taking a couple of ibuprofen for the aggravation and to keep moving. Got to the apt to find out I was seeing a chiropractor - (still do not know what happened to the Bowen therapy) and OMG!!!

A woman came to the reception area who would not have been out of place of the prow of a Viking longboat and beckoned me into her "surgery" or should I say, place of infinite torture masked as a surgery. By this point I was bent double, could barely carry my handbag as my back hurt so much and once launched off the chair (which took at least a minute) I shuffled crab like into her den where she said " At the risk of sounding silly, how can I help you" - maybe I should have shuffled off then. I said I thought I was out of alignment (where would I be without Shortland St, All Saints, House and Grey's Anatomy, lol). "Come lie on my table" she said.

Now, the table resembled a massage table the width of a plank and was lower to the ground than the hip level I am used to. Dropping down onto it was extremely painful and then she wanted me to flip onto my stomach which involved flapping about like a beached whale as I tried to manoeuvre into said position from a bent up and pained state. I flattened out somewhat and she put some gel feeling like pad under my left hip and then dropped like an All Black prop onto the same area. There was a whoosh of air from my lungs, a crack of bones, and a tortured moan came from somewhere, then she did the same thing again under my right hip (repeat of sound effects). She had felt up and down my spine, and then pressed a bit round my sacral area, - more tortured sounds but wait there was more. The next thing, I feel something like a bullet shape something the size of my little finger being fired from something like one of those air pressure nail guns up either side of my spine, through my sacral area and up into my shoulders. Gasps and moans shot out of me after just about each firing. She then asked me to flip onto my side. I was like a cast ewe and for a moment thought are you mad, I can't move. By some dent of shuffling and flipping myself about I finally got onto my side whereupon she tucked me into her hip and jerk, she twisted me. Another ooof of sound. Repeat on the other side and onto back. She had worked on my shoulders with the nail gun thing and said she was just now going to align my head. She seized my jaw and shoulder and crack, jerked my head in one quick motion one way and then the other. She said my pelvis was twisted, and my muscles had gone into spasm (lockdown type reaction) to compensate or some such thing. I was obviously in a bad way, to ice neck and sacral areas, to take some voltarin and come back Monday.

Poor Donna in the waiting room had nearly gapped it, hearing all the sounds of torture coming from within, lol. The woman had told me that I needed to walk or lie down and not to sit through the healing process. Needless to say, I chose the lying option, spending the next day, on the couch, iced up like a hoar frost, swallowing the voltarin as prescribed, and did the same the following day as much as possible as I had work again. I got up on Sunday like a spring chicken, took no tablets, because I forgot, as there was not a twinge of pain and I moved so easily, I was half way through the day before I remembered I had been in such bad shape only two days before. Score one for the chiropractor Brunhilde who could have made me a paraplegic with one false crick only two days before. Such was the miracle cure, I went back for the 2nd apt, leapt on the couch, and only offered up a few oofs, and ouches when she hit the remaining tender spots, and I handled the nail gun weapon with hardly a noise. She only did the hip press this time with the nail gun up the spine and sent me on my way $50 lighter each time.

I am hoping that will be my first and last experience with a chiropractor and I am glad to have lived to tell the tail. I still have no idea what happened to the Bowen therapist, or how I came to the idea of that was who I was going to see, lol. I have come to notice my other senses such as hearing seem to diminish when I am in extreme pain (mild ache to most others, lol.) I got home to find I could smell the bar of gardenia soap that Jude had given me for Christmas which I had been unaware of smelling during the week, so go figure.

The last issue was a very minor one and this time involved my glasses. In the extreme heat and humidity, they had kept sliding down my face and the bridge over my nose and those little bits on the side which were metal had started to dig into me. I went back to the optometrist who said, I can replace the nose things with silicon pads which she did , and I have not looked back. My glasses remain on my face without sliding and I am able to see much better as the graduated lenses are now fixed where they should be woohoo.

Damn Petkovic lost but I am now watching Federer play Wawrinka - go Federer!!

So there you have it, I am now running on all cylinders, lol and have survived - yay.